After the
calculated suicide of Susannah Kennedy’s domineering and narcissistic mother,
Susannah Kennedy grapples with the ties between mothers and daughters and the
choices parents make in this gripping memoir that shows what freedom looks like
when we choose to examine the uncomfortable past.
Jane is to
the world a charismatic personality—opinionated, an inner-city teacher and
public activist, a lover of Italy, proud and successful—who thrives on a
carefully crafted life narrative. Susannah is her beautiful only daughter, her
intended proteÌgeÌ.
All through
Susannah’s childhood, Jane settles once per day to chronicle her life. In those
years of magnetic twosomeness, “Mommy, can I read your diaries?” is a frequent
question. Jane starts off saying “Some day” and then she changes to “When you
are the age I was when I wrote them,” then, later, it becomes “Maybe,” then
“No, probably never.”
The diaries
recede. Susannah grows up. But then Jane at 75, healthy and fit, chooses
suicide, insisting it would be better for everyone this way. That controlling assessment
is wrong from the moment Susannah hears the news and has to identify the
body.
As someone
who has always sensed the stricter, darker truth, and fought to resist the
control imposed on her by her mother’s seductive tale, she actively resists
reading the 45 years of diaries her mother left behind. When she finally dares
to “read” Jane, it’s like unlatching Pandora’s Box.
For a year,
Susannah reads, twisting and turning to the truths she uncovers, comparing what
she remembers against the strange pull of her mother’s public tale. This
process is accompanied by physical symptoms, each memory encased in her body.
And then she uncovers yet another secret, one that redefines her mother
forever.
At last
Susannah is able to separate, heal and embrace her own story.
